"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
