Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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