That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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