walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
