Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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