how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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