i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Farmville is her only friend.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
