I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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