Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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