It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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