Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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