He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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