the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
