So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
