can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
