He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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