I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
