I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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