Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
