I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
