HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
