You're my little dorito
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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