she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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