During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Less talking, more tequila
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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