Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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