I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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