yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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