I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
