i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
