They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
