We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have post one night stand depression
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
