You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
