"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
