Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my poor anus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
