you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
