Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
