He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
