It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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