I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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