You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
