best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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