im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
