brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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