Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
