What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
