I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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