the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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