wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
