I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
