I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
