at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
